Happy Celebrate Bisexuality Day!

Yes, 23 September is Celebrate Bisexuality Day. It's the day for bisexual, pansexual, those of fluid sexuality, and their friends, family, and supporters to celebrate bisexuality, bisexual history, bisexual community and culture, and bi/pansexual people themselves. While I'm not bisexual I have been very fortunate to be loved and befriended by bisexual people (For instance: Hi, Ruth! Hi, Arwyn!) both online and in my day-to-day life. Let the bisexual people you love know that you love them, accept them, and support them today.

Kyriarchy Illustrated: A Dyke-Bashing in Liverpool

"Kyriarchy Illustrated" is an occasional series of posts where I talk about the effects of living in a kyriarchy via my personal experiences.  Find all of the posts so far by clicking on the "kyriarchy illustrated" link at the end of the post.
 
As a feminist I subscribe to the idea that the oppression of women is not best described by the term patriarchy, or "rule of the fathers", but by kyriarchy. As Arwyn defines it:

“[K]yriarchy” emphasizes that it is the very concept of “master” that rules us; it is the act of creating hierarchies on which we are all placed “higher” or “lower” that oppresses and damages us.

How these hierarchies of oppression intersect is different for everyone as a personal experience illustrates.

When I was in the UK last month, my fiancée (OHAI Ruth) and I went to Liverpool a couple times. The second time we went, we went sightseeing down at the docks and then headed over to visit a gay pub (instead of one of the many gay bars on the same street). As we headed to the pub, from behind us some bloke shouted, "Fucking dykes!". This was the first time I've been bashed for being a dyke and my reactions surprised me.

One of my reactions was pleasure at being correctly gendered as a woman. As a trans woman, I'm used to getting misgendered of course. And, I'm also happy when I get gendered correctly. Even so, I was shocked that even as I was irate at being bashed just for walking down the street being affectionate with the woman I love I was thankful for being affirmed as a woman. Such is the life of being trans in a cis world where one takes validation where one can get it. (A friend of mine pointed out that this happens reaction is also shown in the movie "Better Than Chocolate" where a trans woman replies "Oh thank you!" when hit with the same shout from skinheads)

A simulataneous reaction with the above was that I wanted to shout back, "Actually, only I'm a dyke. She's bi.". Because, while we may be involved in a lesbian relationship, Ruth is definitely bisexual. But, as usual, sexuality is attributed based upon one's current partner and the idea that one can be attracted to more than one gender is not even considered.

Additionally, Ruth told me when I asked her about this incident that she was just happy she wasn't being fat-bashed as she had been earlier in the evening (Yes, the assholes were out in force in Liverpool that evening). It was better for her to be attacked for her sexuality than attacked for her appearance.

So there you have it. Two people are bashed and their reactions to it differ based upon the differing oppressions they experience under kyriarchy. This is why I think any feminism that is to serve all women has to deal with the situations each woman finds herself in.

Trans-Consumerism for Transsexual Women

I apologise if this post is somewhat disjointed and not fully fleshed out. I decided it was better to post what I had than to continue playing around with it and never post it.

Fall has arrived. I could really use some fall skirts and tops. I could also really use electrolysis. Welcome to the world of trans-consumerism for a femme transdyke.

I started thinking about this thanks to two recent posts Sublimefemme has made about queer, especially femme, consumerism in response to a current article in The Advocate titled "The Cost of Being Gay". Consumerism is hardly limited to queer culture in America. America relies on its cultures and communities being soaked in consumerism.

As I think Sublimefemme has covered consumerism for the queer femme rather well, I'm going to look at the consumerism facing the transwoman. One immediate point to make is that consumerism for transwomen is very much a class issue, moreso than usual consumerism because of the staggering costs involved in some choices. But, like all consumerism, none of the following choices must be chosen, but some bring comfort to me as a transwoman and some bring more correct gendering of me by others (at least, theoretically).

The cheapest consumer choices for a transwoman are beauty rituals such as shaving, tweezing, plucking, and so on. Slightly more expensive are clothes and makeup (though these can get hideously expensive, of course). All of this is in common with ciswomen and is about as accessible (with the possible exception of buying women's clothing the first time) with respect to class.

Next up the ladder is hormone therapy. This requires medical and usually psychological clearance and so is more than a bit of a step up. Then there's the cost of the hormones themselves. I can't imagine handling this part without health insurance and drug coverage which also cost. This is definitely where class starts to be a factor not only in the question of monetary resources but also in dealing with the psycho-medical establishment, since one normally needs to know how to go about getting a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder, a reference to a physician/endocrinologist, and possibly even having to educate that person on what the appropriate course of treatment is.

Next we enter the world of what is commonly called cosmetic surgery. This includes procedures for electrolysis, facial feminisation, breast augmentation, orchiectomy, and vaginoplasty. One does not have to have any or all of these surgeries, but isn't that the point of consumerism? We don't have to have it, we're led to want it. However, these can cost tens of thousands of dollars as well as pain, time, and significant hurdles put in place by the medical industry.

Even if I were rich, I have issues. Let me start with my major issue: surgery. I've had emergency surgery twice in my life, and I can tell you I'm not a big fan of surgery. While I believe in bodily autonomy, my right to do to my own body what I want to improve it (if you will), I'm disturbed by the cosmetic medical industry and how it feeds off insecurities about looks and fitting in as a woman. I'm thinking here mostly about breast augmentation and facial feminisation. But one can certainly argue vaginoplasty falls into this category. In the otherwise despicable "The Transsexual Empire", Janice Raymond does an analysis of the traditional psycho-medical industry of sex-reassignment surgery (as it was then called) which is well worth reading. Unfortunately I can not currently locate my copy to quote from it.

Let me take breast augmentation as an example. It's apparently a common procedure for transwomen. I just had an argument over this procedure with a cisfriend of mine who wants breast augmentation for herself even as I think her breasts are beautiful the way they are. There's a tension between what we think of our own bodies and what society expects of our bodies. A common feminist tenet is that women's bodies are public property. I have to agree. For myself, that comes up as a question of what looks "normal" on my frame. "Normal" is not only a question of what is average but what is socially constructed as an appropriate size. And right now, apparently I have "man boobs" size. So, if it were just a question of conformity, I'd scrape up the cash and buy me some breasts. But, I do question social standards and consumerism.

So, what's a mindful gal to do? I don't know. I'd not be shy in telling you if I did. So, I encourage y'all to tell me what you think, what questions you have, and (if you're kind) critiquing my post.

Transdyke to Watch Out For

(with apologies to Alison Bechdel)

I hear you thinking "What the heck is a transdyke? And, why should I watch out for one?" Fear not, gentle reader, I will answer these questions for you only to probably replace them with many more.

Transdyke refers to a transgender lesbian. Some people find this term offensive. I, however, use it to label myself because I'm transgender and I'm a dyke. If you don't know what transgender means, go to wikipedia or something to find out since that's too long to go into here. As for dyke, I use it for its reclaimed meaning of a strong lesbian since I tend to be strongly opinionated and sometimes even self-assured.

So, basically, I'm saying you should watch out for me. Why? Because I'm sure sooner or later to offend you. At least, if I haven't then I've probably not written well or else you haven't understood what I'm actually saying. Let me start off with the offending by fully labelling myself.

I'm a woman. I'm a transgender woman. I'm a dyke. Other lesbians accept me as a lesbian. I'm queer. I'm a feminist. I am some sort of post modern (pomo)/radical feminist. I am a sex positive feminist meaning I don't find erotica/pornography, sex work/prostitution, BDSM, butch-femme, sex acts or sex toys to be anti-feminist. I like erotica/pornography. I like lesbian erotica/pornography. BDSM is fun. Butches are hot. Femmes are hot. OK, women in general are hot. I have sexual kinks. I'm pro-LGBTQ. I think LGBTQ issues are feminist issues. I think transgender issues are feminist issues. I think that political lesbianism is a theft of lesbian identity and culture. I'm an anti-capitalist socialist more or less. I'm a university student. I'm studying to be an academic. I'm an activist in both feminist and LGBTQ issues. I'm accepted as a woman and a feminist by my university feminist group. I benefited from male privelege for most of my life. I'm a transsexual woman. I only started transitioning a year ago. I'm an agnostic pagan who grew up Christian. My good Christian mother loves me, her transgender daughter. I'm mentally ill. "Gender dysphoria" does not make me mentally ill. I am neither young nor beautiful. I'm overweight/fat. Becoming a femme transdyke does not mean I'm reifying the gender binary. Transmen are men. Asexual, bisexual, genderqueer, pansexual, polysexual, and all sorts of other gender and sexual identities exist and are valid.

That's not everything, but it's a good start for offending people I'm sure. However, I'm not trying to offend just to offend. I'm trying to speak and stop the erasure of my reality, my identity, my very being. So, I hope that you'll stick around even if I've already offended you or even if I've not yet managed it.