Sex work and sexuality group blog

Via Caroline at Loserdust (Original post here):

I am in the midst of setting up a group blog for sex workers and allies about, as the title of this post suggests, sex work and sexuality.

I'd like for it to be concerned mainly with the UK and Europe, though I do want to include US bloggers and issues.

I think this has a hell of a lot of potential. Blogging is a fantastic way of getting the message out to people and so often the US dominates discourse, so having a blog to really push the UK and Europe forward will be a very big thing. And I want this to work.

What I need - some folks from the UK and Europe. So, if you are a sex worker or ally from the UK / Europe and you'd like to participate in this, whether you'd like to be a regular contributer, post sporadically or just want to be in on the ride, give me a shout: shepherd[dot]cc[at]gmail[dot]com. I've already got one or two very groovy people, so you'll be in awesome company :)

Kyriarchy Illustrated: A Dyke-Bashing in Liverpool

"Kyriarchy Illustrated" is an occasional series of posts where I talk about the effects of living in a kyriarchy via my personal experiences.  Find all of the posts so far by clicking on the "kyriarchy illustrated" link at the end of the post.
 
As a feminist I subscribe to the idea that the oppression of women is not best described by the term patriarchy, or "rule of the fathers", but by kyriarchy. As Arwyn defines it:

“[K]yriarchy” emphasizes that it is the very concept of “master” that rules us; it is the act of creating hierarchies on which we are all placed “higher” or “lower” that oppresses and damages us.

How these hierarchies of oppression intersect is different for everyone as a personal experience illustrates.

When I was in the UK last month, my fiancée (OHAI Ruth) and I went to Liverpool a couple times. The second time we went, we went sightseeing down at the docks and then headed over to visit a gay pub (instead of one of the many gay bars on the same street). As we headed to the pub, from behind us some bloke shouted, "Fucking dykes!". This was the first time I've been bashed for being a dyke and my reactions surprised me.

One of my reactions was pleasure at being correctly gendered as a woman. As a trans woman, I'm used to getting misgendered of course. And, I'm also happy when I get gendered correctly. Even so, I was shocked that even as I was irate at being bashed just for walking down the street being affectionate with the woman I love I was thankful for being affirmed as a woman. Such is the life of being trans in a cis world where one takes validation where one can get it. (A friend of mine pointed out that this happens reaction is also shown in the movie "Better Than Chocolate" where a trans woman replies "Oh thank you!" when hit with the same shout from skinheads)

A simulataneous reaction with the above was that I wanted to shout back, "Actually, only I'm a dyke. She's bi.". Because, while we may be involved in a lesbian relationship, Ruth is definitely bisexual. But, as usual, sexuality is attributed based upon one's current partner and the idea that one can be attracted to more than one gender is not even considered.

Additionally, Ruth told me when I asked her about this incident that she was just happy she wasn't being fat-bashed as she had been earlier in the evening (Yes, the assholes were out in force in Liverpool that evening). It was better for her to be attacked for her sexuality than attacked for her appearance.

So there you have it. Two people are bashed and their reactions to it differ based upon the differing oppressions they experience under kyriarchy. This is why I think any feminism that is to serve all women has to deal with the situations each woman finds herself in.

Help a Trans Sister Out

My friend Voz needs some help. Quoting her entry:

As many of you know, my partner and I are losing our home and most of our belongings tomorrow to foreclosure.

Tho it pains me to do so, I am asking for donations to start our new life, and help build our new subsistence farm and eco homestead. We'll dedicate a sapling to you or something, and welcome visitors.

There is a tax penalty on the land we bought of $2700.00 that must be paid before we can build. If u can't send money, send your leftover seed packets from your garden.

If you can, send something to:
Alyssa and Crystal C.
PO Box 231
Richmond, ME 04357

Or to my PayPal, if you actually have money.
espacio.translatina@gmail.com

Thanks in advance
-voz

Music Meme

I'd actually been avoiding the blogger meme thing, but then dear Ms Moss requested that I do them. I am unable to refuse her, so I present you with the music meme post. The following results obtained with my iPod, purchased for purely academic reasons (yeah, right).

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?

Break On Through - The Doors

Will I have a happy life?

Eine Kleine Nacktmusik - Mozart

What do my friends really think of me?

Metropolis - The Church

How can I be happy?

Finest Worksong (Mutual Drum Horn Mix) - R.E.M.

What should I do with my life?

It's a Sin - Pet Shop Boys

Will I ever have children?

The Offer - Wire

What is some good advice for me?

Waterfall '96 - Various Artists

How will I be remembered?

The Bad Touch (Eiffel65 Remix) - Bloodhound Gang

What is my signature dancing song?

Get Up and Jump - Red Hot Chili Peppers

What do I think my current theme song is?

This Ay Nicht - Mediaeval Baebes

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

Moments in Love (ComputerBlue remix) - The Art of Noise

What song will play at my funeral?

Allison - Elvis Costello

What type of men/women do you like?

Like A Virgin - Madonna

What is my day going to be like?

The Thin Line - Queensryche



It's like they're in my head! And, no, I really do not prefer virgins, though it is kind of funny that that would come up.

BTW, you can find my dear Ms Moss' results for this here.

It's Always About the Cis Women

Not all women's issues affect all women equally, or even, sometimes, at all. Issues can vary by class, race, sexuality, and so on. But feminism has recognised that just because an issue may only affect a small number of women it nonetheless is a feminist issue because it is a women's issue. Feminism also has recognised that it is important to foreground the women for whom it is an issue and let them lead in dealing with the issue. Feminism has not always succeeded in this. Womanism came directly out of the failure of second-wave feminism to engage with its own racism, in refusing to see issues for women of colour as women's issues. But, things have gotten better now that we're in the third wave, right? Not so much for trans women. Two recent discussions at major feminist blogs demonstrate this.

In the first case, we go to Feministing where Miriam posted a letter from Focus on the Family (FotF) which scaremongers about "men in the women's room" when anti-discrimination laws are passed. Cis women comments there started out the comments already falling for the meme. When allies, other trans women, and myself actually arrived and tried to bring the conversation back to reality, we were effectively ignored. The conversation continued to be about the dangers of having men in the same restroom as (cis) women and girls, how uncomfortable it would be to have men there, and how trans women were OK there as long as they didn't look too much like men. [Note: Comments have now been completely scrubbed at Feministing such that you will find none of what I talk about.]

Next, came Feministe with "By Any Other Name" which Cara wrote in response to an article by a cis man about what he learned from a trans woman student. The comments started out actually engaging the article and what Cara had said about it. However, the discussion then turned into a conversation about birth control methods which was neither in the OP nor a trans women's issue at all seeing as how we can't get pregnant. Voz and Galling Galla complained about it which finally led to Cara stepping in to say she would moderate heavier for derailing. However, prior to Cara's statement, one commenter actually had the gall to say "Not all discussions that crop up will be concerns to all women. Isn’t that bound to happen?". In a thread that specifically addresses an article about a trans woman, we're expected to see the discussion turning to exclusively cis-concerns as something that's bound to happen?

But maybe the Feministe commenter is right. Any discussion that crops up about trans issues is bound to not include the concerns of trans folk. It is always about the cis women. With a few (wonderful) exceptions, it seems as though cis women can't be bothered to consider any experience outside their own. At least not the cis women found at major online feminist sites. Way to include all women.

Bil Browning Appropriates Virginia Tech

Update: For those who want a far better explanation of this than what I provide, start at voz's post on LiveJournal.

I really wasn't planning on getting involved into what is turning into a full-on blog war beyond commenting on other people's posts. First, I assume people who read me have no clue what I'm talking about so some background. lyssa, a trans woman of colour, made a comment at The Bilerico Project expressing her rage at the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) for what she sees as their contributing role to the loss of trans lives. It involved violent imagery. So, rather than just deleting the comment and chastising lyssa via email, Bil Browning, the owner of The Bilerico Project, decides to make an example of the comment and makes a post about it. He says this is not acceptable on his blog (fair enough as it is his blog) and how he would gladly turn over her info to the police for making a death threat. It's that latter bit that's the problem as the police are not the friends of trans women of colour. Anyway, you can see all of that, including lyssa's apology via a screenshot of Bil's post here.

So, in various places around LiveJournal and at Questioning Transphobia, there has been discussion about just how screwed up it is to threaten to call the police for something that is hyperbolic and how much danger that would place a trans woman of colour in. OK, fine. But, what about Virginia Tech? For that we have to turn to Twitter.

From the Bilerico (Bil Browning's) Twitter feed:

12:13 PM Mar 21st from TweetDeck in reply to soofriends
@soofriends And those fantasies get people killed. Think Virginia Tech. He put it all on the internet first

12:11 PM Mar 21st from TweetDeck in reply to soofriends
@soofriends I didn’t threaten her. I said if police come calling over death threats, I would cooperate. Wouldn’t you? Trans or not?

12:10 PM Mar 21st from TweetDeck in reply to soofriends
@soofriends Think how many times you hear about killers “I never would have thought…” You just never know.

Whoa! "Think Virginia Tech" Look, I don't have to think Virginia Tech. I was here at Virginia Tech for 16 April 2007 when 32 fellow students and faculty were killed. That was real. That was the action of an homicidally unstable individual. Not a justifiable expression of rage at an organisation that has over and over again betrayed trans people.

Thanks for reopening an unhealed wound, Bil! I still have my peace cranes from those that were sent in the thousands from other schools as an expression of solidarity for our grief. I still remember the signed cards, the huge signed sheets, the makeshift memorial now made permanent. I'm crying now just thinking about it. Is that what you wanted, Bil? And, I'm not the worst off by far. I've watched people break down repeatedly in tears for months afterwards because their friend was one of those killed. I remember the first anniversary of that horrid day being incredibly difficult for many of us. Oh, and did I mention we're coming up on the second anniversary really soon? We're still struggling with dealing. Great timing there, Bil!

So, Bil, from the bottom of this Hokie trans woman's heart, FOAD.

Trans "Theory" Reply Form Letter

Shamelessly stolen from a post at the Transgender community on LiveJournal (with permission)

Instructions: Simply copy and tick the appropriate places to reply to Yet Another Cis (or Even Trans) Person Explaining Why Trans People Are the Way We Are

Your post advocates a:

( ) body dysmorphic
( ) brain structural
( ) nurture-based
( ) nature-based
( ) fetishistic
( ) product of abuse or parenting
( ) patriarchal coercion
( ) confused male-male homosexuality
( ) ulterior patriarchal motivational

theory of transsexualism. Your theory will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea, and it may have other flaws.)

( ) Not all transsexual or transgender people are the same
( ) Not all transgender people identify the same way
( ) There's no firm scientific evidence yet
( ) Not all transgender people were brought up the same way
( ) Diagnostic criteria is not written with a view to trans experience
( ) Biased scientific studies
( ) Not all transgender people were abused as children
( ) Blinding ideology
( ) Not all transsexual or transgender people want surgery

Specifically, your theory fails to account for:

( ) Applying the same ideas to non-trans people breaks the theory
( ) Independent thought and intelligence of trans people
( ) Ideology of people who want to erase trans people
( ) The complex nature of the human mind
( ) The day-to-day security of trans women
( ) Your definitions don't match reality
( ) The fact that lesbian trans women exist
( ) The fact that trans men exist
( ) Feminist trans women
( ) Trans voices and experiences
( ) Discrimination against trans people

and the following philosophical objections may also apply:

( ) An etiology of trans people shouldn't be necessary to ensure trans rights
( ) Biological reductionism sucks
( ) Rigidity of gender sucks
( ) Why should anyone care so much about what's in others' pants?
( ) What are your real motivations for interest in our etiology?

Furthermore, this is what I think about you:

( ) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work.
( ) This is a stupid idea, and you're a stupid person for suggesting it.
( ) Nice try, assh0le! I'm going to find out where you live and burn your house down!